As an attorney, I have the opportunity to meet many fine people.  In fact, I often get to see people in the worst situations step up and prove what they are made of.  Unfortunately I get to also see a lot of people at their worst.  As a parent, I often question who I  am raising, after seeing some of the juvenile offenders come through I system, I am starting to wonder "what" we are raising.  As in, Are we raising


friends instead of children?  Are we raising followers instead of leaders?  Worse yet, Are we raising monsters?

I try not to believe that children can't be saved.  However, some of them have a more difficult time than others.  Often, I can see the ones who won't succeed just by looking at the parenting skills, or lack their of, that the parents display.  When your 13 year old son is facing a juvenile detention facility for arson, your answer should not be, "He didn't really burn that building, just the window."  We need to do our best as parents to make sure that our children are not using our excuses for their behavior as permission to commit crimes.

I don't know that I have the formula right for my girls, but I try.  I am seeking to make them world citizens and I am proud that at 6 and 7 years old they have passports.  I also want them to understand the incredible privilege that they have.  That's why I am so excited that this year we made a donation to Heifer International to purchase a flock of chicks .(http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.2667525/?msource=TH1J100004).  I wanted the girls to understand that even though we made a small gift, it would make a huge difference in someone else's life.  So I ask you, What are you raising?  I'm trying to raise thoughtful, loving, world citizens

There is a song from the "last century" that recently came to my mind- We Don't Need Another Hero.  I admit that I didn't know most of the words, but it came to me after having a conversation with a good friend and client.  I told her that I believe that men shouldn't be visitors in their child's lives.

What do I mean by that?  Well, most people who come to me for custody concerns have no custody order in place.  They are frustrated by the actions of the other parent and want to know what their rights are.  I always say, "You have the same rights as the other parent."  Unfortunately, it is mostly men who need this speech.  I rarely have to tell a woman that the father can't control access to your child, but men often seem to think that they must ask permission to be a parent.  The problem with that attitude is that it often translates into waiting on an invitation to help.

For anyone who has been to child support court, you know that responsibility figures pretty large there.  Often, the parent with primary custody is saying that the other parent doesn't get what the child needs.  The Defendant is saying, no one told me.  Let's face it, we all know that children need food, shelter, clothing, and the occasional ride to practice.  So how do we find ways to be good parents when the other party is just unreasonable?

I suggest consulting a lawyer sooner, rather than later.  If you are separating from someone that you share a child with, it is better to make your expectations known before you become entrenched in a plan.  No one wants to look up in a few years and realize that their hope for joint custody has become one weekend a month and dinner on Wednesday.  Planning now can prevent problems in the future.  Feel free to call the office at 610-874-1900 or e-mail jones@mychesterlawyer.com

So for all of you parents out there, I say, Children don't need another hero, they just need someone to help them find life beyond the Thunderdome.

Have a great day! 

"We Don't Need Another Hero"

OUT OF THE RUINS
OUT FROM THE WRECKAGE
CAN`T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE THIS TIME
WE ARE THE CHILDREN
THE LAST GENERATION
WE ARE THE ONES THEY LEFT BEHIND
AND I WONDER WHEN WE ARE EVER GONNA CHANGE
LIVING UNDER THE FEAR, TILL NOTHING ELSE REMAINS

WE DON`T NEED ANOTHER HERO
WE DON`T NEED TO KNOW THE WAY HOME
ALL WE WANT IS LIFE BEYOND
THUNDERDOME

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
WE CAN RELY ON
THERE`S GOTTA BE SOMETHING BETTER OUT THERE
LOVE AND COMPASSION
THEIR DAY IS COMING
ALL ELSE ARE CASTLES BUILT IN THE AIR
AND I WONDER WHEN WE ARE EVER GONNA CHANGE
LIVING UNDER THE FEAR TILL NOTHING ELSE REMAINS

ALL THE CHILDREN SAY
WE DON`T NEED ANOTHER HERO
WE DON`T NEED TO KNOW THE WAY HOME
ALL WE WANT IS LIFE BEYOND
THUNDERDOME

SO WHAT DO WE DO WITH OUR LIFES
WE LEAVE ONLY A MARK
WILL OUR STORY SHINE LIKE A LIGHT
OR END IN THE DARK
GIVE IT ALL OR NOTHING

WE DON`T NEED ANOTHER HERO
WE DON`T NEED TO KNOW THE WAY HOME
ALL WE WANT IS LIFE BEYOND
THUNDERDOME



Posted by Chester Lawyer at 12/10/2010 11:53 AM

     I love the holidays.  I love the smells, the snacks, the time with family.  What I don't love is the hustle and bustle, the over-spending, and the many people who forget that the season is about love.  This Holiday season, I challenge everyone to really think about who they love and how best to protect those people.  One of the best ways to have piece of mind is by engaging in thoughtful estate planning.

     You will notice that I did not, "Get a Will."  Wills are great tools, but they do not encompass all that Estate Planning does.  A Will may make you feel good that your "evil" ex-spouse won't inherit your money, but it may not fully address how your want your child's money to be handled if something were to happen to you.  A Will may say who gets your favorite collection when you pass on, but it doesn't address health care issues if you are in a coma.  In short, a Will is only one part of a comprehensive plan.

     So, this Holiday season, think of your loved ones and plan for their future.


Best wishes,

Jacquie


Posted by Chester Lawyer at 12/2/2010 4:13 PM

      One of the best things about life is that I get to meet really great people.  However, one of the things I hear often is, "I hope I never need a lawyer."  I understand the sentiment, but I think it misses the main point that lawyers can help in good times and bad.  Our job as an attorney is not only to help with criminal charges and car accidents.  We also help with building businesses or adopting children.  In short, lawyers can be a big part of a fulfilling and rewarding life.

      So, how do you know the right lawyer for you when the time comes?  In my opinion, knowledge and comfort are both important.  It goes without saying that you want an attorney who is knowledgeable in the field.  Ask the lawyer about his or her experience with your type of case.  Spend time talking about the law and strategy.  In short, make sure that the attorney knows how to handle this case.  You also have to think about the intangibles like how the lawyer makes you feel.  Do they talk to you in a way that you can understand and feel comfortable with?  Do they outline their billing and expectations of a client?  Do they have something that appeals to you?

     Picking an attorney is a very personal choice.  Listen to referrals from friends, but don't discount your own wisdom.  If someone makes you feel bad at the first meeting, that may be a sign of trouble to come.  As with everything in life, you choose what works for you.  Good luck.


Posted by Chester Lawyer at 11/30/2010 3:06 PM

I am moving completely from my old hosting site, so I am slowly transferring old blog posts. If they sound familiar to you, they are :)