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Is Celebrity Justice Different?

3/28/2019

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With Jussie Smollett and Robert Kraft all over the news, are you wondering if they got special treatment?  Today's video talks about celebrity justice, rich people's justice and just plain old diversionary programs available to anyone.  Click play and hear our take on things.
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5 Steps to a Drama Free Divorce

3/27/2019

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COMPUTER GENERATED TRANSCRIPT OF THE VIDEO

So today's topic is drama-free divorce
00:13
and the question marks and I've been
00:15
thinking about this I'm planning to do
00:16
this for weeks
00:18
I had actually written down notes and I
00:19
was all prepared and then I kept not
00:21
videoing because I don't know my face
00:23
wasn't right or my outfit wasn't right
00:24
or who knows why and then I threw my
00:27
notes into a bag and it's in one of my
00:30
bags but let's talk a little bit about
00:32
how to have a drama-free divorce and I
00:35
think it's really important because
00:37
people say they want a drama-free
00:39
divorce people like I just want to be
00:40
divorced and I'm done but most of them
00:42
don't mean that they're not really ready
00:45
to be done how do I know because they
00:46
make all the wrong choices when it comes
00:50
to how to have this divorce be finished
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I mean honestly the first way to have a
00:55
divorce drama-free it's just did not
00:57
care like I'm done I'll take nothing
00:59
I'll leave now am I suggesting that
01:01
absolutely not but if you come to me and
01:03
you have so many minut points about what
01:05
you deserve and what you want I know
01:07
from the beginning that this is not
01:08
ready to be drama-free so let's jump
01:10
into how to have a drama-free divorce
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number one talk to your spouse yes talk
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to your spouse why do I say that because
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what many of you don't understand is
01:24
that you don't even know if the person
01:26
is ready for a divorce if they 1
01:28
divorced they agreed to divorce or if
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they will give you what you want or if
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they have their own wants or needs so
01:34
people will come to me they're prepared
01:36
for divorce and I said well what does
01:37
your spouse think about this is he or
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she going to sign off on it and they go
01:40
I don't know you don't know how do you
01:45
not know well they've never actually
01:48
talked to the person they may have had
01:49
arguments they may be living in a de
01:52
tante sort of in the home where they
01:53
barely talk to each other or sometimes
01:55
they're not even living in the same
01:57
house and have not four years but still
01:59
none of them have filed for divorce and
02:01
they're not sure if the other person is
02:02
going to file for a divorce or not so
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the first thing you always want to do to
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have a drama-free divorce is talk to
02:09
your spouse ok so now that you talk to
02:14
the spouse and you let them know I'm
02:15
thinking divorce are you thinking
02:16
divorce because that's good to know
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I need to know if I'm going into an
02:20
uncontested divorce situation or if
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there's going to be a fight
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you need to know that because unless you
02:25
have oodles and oodles of money you want
02:27
to understand how much I'll be paying
02:29
your attorney and I want to give you a
02:30
fair estimate on what it should cost the
02:32
next thing for a jarama free divorce is
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deciding what you want now what I mean
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by that is what do you want as far as
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household do I want the house do I not
02:46
do I want certain things I want certain
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belongings do I need to have the washing
02:51
machine was that China give it to my
02:53
great-grandmother and I need that is it
02:56
about custody do I need to have a 50/50
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custody arrangement should I have
03:00
primary should you have primary should
03:02
who gets the vacation house what are the
03:05
things that are most important to you
03:07
and why you know what are the things you
03:10
need so first you have this drama-free
03:11
divorce you have to talk to your spouse
03:12
and then you have to decide what you
03:14
want people will come to me and they
03:15
will have no idea and I say well are
03:17
their retirement accounts well yes what
03:20
do them do about that well sometimes one
03:23
person has not worked for a number of
03:24
years so the other person can build up
03:25
their retirement so they need a share of
03:27
it sometimes they go we both worked at
03:29
home jobs and quite frankly I don't want
03:30
his I'm sure he doesn't want mine or
03:32
whatever the deal is so you want to make
03:34
sure that you that you know kind of what
03:38
you want so think about things like the
03:40
house any other properties you have may
03:42
have the pets the children the
03:45
retirement accounts stuff decide those
03:49
sort of things next if you really want
03:54
to be without drama be prepared to give
03:58
in and give up do I mean that you should
04:01
lose no but sometimes your things that
04:04
you are holding on most harshly - that
04:06
are so important to you are not really
04:08
all that important if you want a
04:10
drama-free divorce and the issue becomes
04:13
something minor you have to decide is
04:15
that minor issue important so if we are
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basically having something close to a
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joint custody arrangement and you want
04:22
Wednesday night and him to have Thursday
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night for instance but he wants
04:25
Wednesday night and for you to have
04:27
Thursday nights be prepared to give up
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if they're sharing the kids anyway does
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it matter which one is Wednesday and
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which one has Thursday will
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maybe not it may matter it may matter
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because Wednesday is ballet night and
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you've always been the ballet parent and
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you're on the ballet board
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okay then and maybe it matters but
04:46
otherwise let's not sweat the small
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stuff let's let's think you know you've
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talked to this vows you decided what you
04:52
wanted and now you're willing to give in
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and give up on things and I was
04:55
important for be flexible with your
04:59
means what does that mean by that it
05:02
doesn't always have to be the way that
05:03
you want so let's say for instance you
05:05
don't want the house you don't liver the
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house but you do want your share you
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okay we're back I forgot to turn on my
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do not disturb my kid is gonna be like
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what's more important than me the light
05:17
of your life sorry baby maybe we should
05:19
call my job because she does that but
05:23
what happens next is you may look at you
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know you're looking at things and you've
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you said okay I've talked to them I know
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what I want I know what things I'm
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willing to give up one now how do I get
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there so I have this house this house I
05:40
want fifty thousand out of it I don't
05:42
care whether he gets to keep the house
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or not just give him my fifty thousand
05:45
dollars why does that matter so for
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instance I've had cases like that where
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let's say he's the one making the more
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money and he can afford the house you're
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like listen I don't want that big old
05:54
house anyway I want a smaller house it's
05:56
reasonable that I can pay for fine but
05:58
he wants to move his new girlfriend in
06:00
he wants to keep the house himself no we
06:03
need to sell this house this house needs
06:05
to be sold we could spend a year later
06:09
gaining over whether or not the house
06:10
should be sold when really you could
06:13
have fifty thousand dollars in your hand
06:15
in two months because he refinancing got
06:17
you fifty thousand dollars you have to
06:19
learn how to be flexible with the means
06:20
it doesn't have to happen the way you
06:22
wanted to happen for you to get the
06:23
result that you want and you have to
06:25
allow us to talk about how to get to the
06:28
right result even if it doesn't happen
06:30
the way you mean so if you want less
06:32
drama in your divorce be flexible with
06:34
how we get there
06:35
okay so first talk to your spouse to
06:40
decide what you want three decide what
06:45
you're willing to give up on and four be
06:48
flexible
06:50
with the means of how to do it finally
06:53
five you have to take the emotions out
06:57
of it
06:58
all the things I talked about really
07:01
involve you taking the emotions out of
07:02
it I've had so many people who were like
07:04
I want my fair share I want this oh my
07:05
bad I want the other and they were very
07:07
adamant about all the things and I can
07:09
tell you all the things you can do to
07:10
really push this divorce and make it
07:12
less as long as possible to fight for as
07:14
many things as possible but what I found
07:16
is that when the person who had the most
07:18
emotional energy in this divorce where
07:21
they just whether they wanted or didn't
07:23
want it whether they're angry with the
07:24
other person whether they were betrayed
07:26
or hurt when they let go some that
07:28
emotional energy we were able to come to
07:31
agreement so much easier we could come
07:33
to agreement so much easier because
07:34
without the emotion you started to see
07:37
things like that all the other things I
07:38
said before they made sense like oh yes
07:41
it doesn't matter who lives in the house
07:43
or who got the house I just want my
07:44
money or it doesn't matter whether it's
07:47
Wednesday or Thursday that I get as long
07:49
as I get my days with my kids when you
07:52
let go of some of the emotions of it the
07:54
divorce becomes drama-free in a way that
07:57
it has never been before now I see a
07:59
couple people watching I always love
08:01
when you guys watch I really really wish
08:02
there were some comments I think I'd see
08:04
them but sometimes I'm not in the right
08:06
thing but I love when your comments
08:07
because comments are good so if there's
08:09
anything else you want to know about
08:10
drama three divorces or if you want to
08:14
hear some really good stories about
08:16
drama I've had in divorce now's the time
08:18
to interact with me and put something in
08:20
the comment section so you can hear one
08:21
of my stories of crazy things that
08:23
happen in divorces because I can tell
08:26
you but I mean that is the basics you
08:30
can have a divorce that is largely
08:32
drama-free it can happen and you could
08:34
have a divorce it takes years and years
08:36
and years unnecessarily in fact it
08:38
happens more often than not but your
08:40
choice and your reactions and how you
08:42
deal with it
08:43
well that makes all the difference so I
08:46
gave it some time I didn't see anyone
08:49
typing that they want to hear a really
08:51
bad story so I'm not going to give any
08:53
stories unless you ask for wine if you
08:56
ask for a story about something I will
08:58
tell you going once going twice
09:04
going three times sold so again thank
09:07
you for joining me today and a reminder
09:09
if you want a drama-free divorce begin
09:11
while talking with your spouse step
09:13
number one to decide decide to side to
09:18
side what you want 3 be willing to give
09:22
up and give in when necessary for be
09:26
flexible with your means it doesn't have
09:29
to happen the way you want be flexible
09:31
while we get there and finally 5 if you
09:33
let the emotions go sooner rather than
09:36
later you can get through all this with
09:38
less drama
09:39
so from Jones & Associates Law PC I'm
09:41
Jacquie Jones feel free to interact with
09:44
us and if you want to hear about more
09:45
topics just drop a comment in the
09:47
comment section I will try to
09:48
accommodate you and of course be on the
09:50
lookout for our podcast jonesing for
09:53
justice jonesing for justice is
09:55
available on all major podcast outlets
09:57
including Apple and Spotify and all the
10:00
rest so you have a great day thanks
10:05
[Music]
10:08
you
English (auto-generated)
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    By Jacquie L. Jones

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